my bed looks and feels like i need to buy plan b.
He looked way older than 15. He probably thought that since I have braces I was 15. Fuck. The 6 year age gap is never to be spoken about. Especially because what happened constitutes as illegal.
tequila makes her clothes fall off
wow Mom, sounds like youre having a good time
After 10 years all I have gotten is one bra pic, at this point I should be able to draw your cervix from memory
i woke up to my roommate spraying cooking spray on my legs. fourth time this has happened. not cool.
Well yea but it's the principle of the thing.. The fact that he could actually BE your daddy
I am sitting on the couch "eating" a frozen big bucket margarita with a spoon.
DID YOU REALLY JUST GIVE ME A FIRST BASE SIGN
The guy at the door just stared only at my boobs and said "I'm gonna let you in." 'Merica
My roomate has me out looking for easter kegs hidden arround town
Don't I can pass these orgasm blushes off as sunburn for much longer...
He sent me a pic stitch collage of all the tit pics I had sexted him this month. It was so sweet!
You insisted that your middle name was "velociraptor" for 20 minutes and every time someone said something you tried to relate it to velociraptors. That kind of drunk.
You owe me beer. On another note, I made out with the ups guy at work today ....
This is the second time you've stolen a pet when you're drunk, given it back and cashed in on a reward...I think you have a problem
Gotta pay my student loans some way
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