I painted my nails silver
And what are the implications of that?
Is there supposed to be a msg in that? Just thought ud like to know it looks like I fingerbanged an alien
Wow, Pearl Harbor and The Notebook are on. Its like the Im going to kill myself marathon.
is cock-oriented a word? I'd say I'm that lately.
There's going to be a pool, lightsabers and alcohol. What could go wrong?!
There are flashing lights and a man dressed as Santa with a bullhorn in my cul de sac.
I'm not sure if this is awesome or scary.
He always finds the good stuff. He's like a truffle pig for bud.
I know more about this girls vagina than I know about her personality
He didn't get laid that weekend.. and that is honestly an accomplishment for the rest of us.
He's drinking on a hospital bracelet, the fuck's your excuse?
We got a lap dance! I touched a boob!
What if for Halloween I paint my self gold and make sandwiches for everyone? I'd be a trophy wife! Get it?
But lunch with my dad really just means an hour and a half of him telling me how he's disappointed and how he knows I'm on drugs
I think I'm still high. And I definitely still smell like lobster, so there's that
I just can't have sex in the car again. it's just too much
How you doing tonight? I got my butthole licked so i cant complain.
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