Fact: Godrick looks like David Archuleta
Breakfast is bomb, yo. McDonald's before ten thirty is like Katie Holmes before Tom Cruise.
I cannot believe you needed a note to remind yourself to ask me about the fourteen sleeping Mexicans.
I told her I'd give her some of the cream I was using so she didn't get my warts. That's when I realized I was too drunk.
There is tupperware vodka. thats right tupperwares full of vodka. best leftovers ever
After he finished he proceeded to check my boobs for breast cancer.
Saved a life and got us a free vacuum cleaner (and learned vacuum is not spelled "vacumn"). Get on my level.
THAT FUCKER WASTED TWO OF MY COLORED CONDOMS! HE DIDN'T EVEN FUCKING FINISH IN IT HE JUST SLAPPED IT ON AND WASTED IT!
Everyone loves nachos, first of all. Second, Ke$ha is entirely appropriate for the age grou too young to realize she probably has Hep C.
This time last year, you were undressing me from my gecko costume and getting freaky in a public bathroom. Tough to top that New Years Eve.
I feel like a drive thru vagina
There is no issue with you seeing me...morally or ethically. we'll update your resume anyway. I really need to have sex with you later. Really
Also, McDonald's breakfast is now 24/7. This is it. This is how I die. Face first in a pile of hashbrowns.
I used an explanation of Walking Marriages in the Mosuo Culture to successfully negotiate an open relationship. That Anthropology degree is finally starting to pay off.
You are cordially invited to the annual finals week stress relief drinking binge at our manor this evening
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