he texted me telling him i gave him the clap. but i think he gave it to me and i gave it back to him
seriously this is one of those moments where im glad i dont really talk to or know the people i sleep with
Well said.
can a guy be partially circumsized? cause i dont exactly know what i was lookng at...
i think our first tip to leave should have been when we saw the drinks were coming out of a gas can
My sister got her picture in the pub crawl section of the paper today and my dad said to me "why can't you be more like her?"
Shotgunned a beer while taking a bath.
Aaaaand that would be the most of my hand I've ever fit into a vagina before.
I woke up naked, with the lights on, using my backpack as a pillow and a pillow as a blanket.
You're just horny.
Yea, and? I appreciate you as a person too if that helps.
No one parties like Jon. He once stole a cops hat, ran like the wind, partied all night with it, and dropped it off at the station the next day with a box of donuts as an appology.
I walk in and my mom has a Christian workout program playing. It's like, gospel music with an "electronic" beat to go with it. And then they try to save your soul at the end. I hate being home.
Apparently I missed the "You may have to jack off a horse" part of the application.
Okay. So I've done lines off a bible. But that's just for the sake of being cliché.
He's like a unicorn and I just wanna domesticate him
I literally forgot every French word I knew and blurted out “mange moi” so he went down on me like I was some baguette fresh outta the oven!!!! I passed out.
Randomize
