after we finished he farted and said 'i've been holding that one in'
When i look at that picture of him, i'm a little proud to be like yeah, his dick was in my mouth saturday no big deal.
who said I'd never amount to anything...i just won 'most enthusiastic' at my poledancing class
When I sent you a text telling you to splash water on your face, you texted me back with 'Iwehre N qyull.'
His concept of male bonding is doing lines in adjacent stalls.
K, so let's go ahead and say that mcnugget and margarita Tuesday was a bad idea
The cab driver is now flexing at a red light...
ur mom makes the best bacon
WHAT ARE YOU DOING IN MY HOUSE
For the record you were pretending you were in a rocket when you drove from wawa to your house. So like 2 minutes of me listening to you making rocket sounds over the phone lmfao
God I miss you. I want to fuck your face... Then do all the girly cuddly shit too.
No fair. I need a fuck buddy to entertain me till the power comes back on
he was wearing a widestriped red gingham suit jacket with complete sincerity im not surprised she beat the shit out of him
It's still fucked up that my mom let me think Vanilla Ice was my dad for YEARS just because she thought it was funny.
And my butt misses you like the deserts miss the rain.
Chaz got drunk and passed out so we superglued a kazoo to his mouth. Listening to him Panic when he woke up was fucking hilarious.
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