i think im in love. he told me he doesnt care if i shave down there.
i dont know whats so great about being respectable.
I think, one-on-one, Paul Rudd could be very threatening in like a REALLY good way.
I used the lotion his mom gave me for christmas to give him a hand job. It felt so wrong.
I'm sorry for peeing on your door. But it was your decision to open it.
Want to get naked in Baltimore this weekend?
Did you leave your blow razor here? I need it for crafts.
You'd be amazed at how difficult it is to find pics of the helicopter dick
I am very proud of your internet skills
We tried lying really still and being really quiet so that he wouldn't notice us before he left the room. Forgot about the glow in the dark condom.
I sat down next to him and my bra just unhooked itself
It looks like I jerked off a rainbow.
11:30 you texted me saying he was on his way. 11:37 you said, "Oh my God that was terrible."
coming down from speed on a 5 hour flight home from vegas is not a valid reason for calling off work the next day
so i said i had a yeast infection
I woke up this morning to find my closet lacking 98% of my clothes and a text from my male roommate saying your dresses squeeze my genitals
If my body were a person, it would be beating the shit out of me for what I did to it last night.
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