why is it that everyone in pennsylvannia gets fucking prego??
I just puked in the mop bucket at work. I think I need to go home.
i didn't know falling asleep in the tbell line could get you a dui. Isn't everyone there stoned or drunk?
Guy in our group took down a chick in a wheelchair last night.
We should have cut you off when you asked the can driver if you could ride in the trunk.
He rubs his penis on back when he think I'm sleeping
Sorry for eating those cheese fries out of your hands last night
First week back and I made to one class, its gonna be okay after all.
think of it as grooming, as if he is my Kate Middleton and I'm grooming him to be a presentable princess
So the dude who sold me my english book is the same guy who let me punch him in the face in exchange for a cig at a party a few weeks ago. small world huh ?
You played Frank Sinatra today after we had sex. You moved way up in my literal book of men. Congrats.
Sext: Bring me pancakes from the midnight breakfast gathering please
This place is a maelstrom of dicks.
I mean as in stuck up bastards, not actual, desirable male genitalia. My point is, come pick me up fast, please!
you thought the best thing to say to him was "you aint no fuckin cop"
EMERGENCY SUBJECT CHANGE. SHE DOESN'T KNOW.
Randomize
