is it wrong that I want a "Where The Wild Things Are" tshirt that points to my junk?
So I went outside my house this morning and basically my entire front lawn is covered in gummi bears... I think that involves you guys.
I was in holding with a guy that got a DUI on a hover round. He was so nice. We're hanging out tonight.
The vomit I understand but how is there seaweed in my bed?
hypothetically speaking is slutty or smart to buy plan b before we go on spring break so i dont have to get it in mexico
She told me I should be a condom model.
He put up a Facebook album attempting to sell off their Harvard furniture. Items for sale include: his friend, a broken lamp, an item described as a 'carpet and/or sleeping bag', a pair of paint stained cargo pants, size 'Tyler', and a self proclaimed $3 bottle of wine, which he is offering for $2
I think god invented us with two hands so we can grab an ass and spank it at the same time.
She gatecrashed the wedding and managed to get an invite to the open bar reception. Lucky bitch
Apparently, acid is a good substitute for cash if you don't have any! Who knew?
My mom just said we can't get married in nude body suits to look like earthworms. She's ruining my life.
Now with the essential back story, I can empathize. Sorry about your beer and butthole.
Feel weird saying this on Facebook, but a dildo collecting demigod sounds like somebody I'd at least hang with for a minute.
There are peanut butter donuts now. We are playing with forces we can't possibly understand.
I need more than 2 fuckable people this is an outrage
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