I only want to know people that are dynamic intelligent and totally insane
Today's lesson: while in the shower, one should choose between either drinking OR shaving. Not both.
I just had to ask my dad for money to pay for my birth control. I've hit financial rock bottom.
Doing laundry, just found a knob off your stove in my pants pocket. I don't know.
he spent like 10 minutes trying to convince us that he was throwing up in the bushes on purpose in order to cut weight for wrestling
you stumbled up the stairs in your heels, pulled 23 one-dollar bills out of your bra and then went and puked in the toilet. didnt say a single thing to me the whole time
well I was pissed. first he yelled at me for having my own condoms, then he got mad when they didn't fit him. Dude, I only fuck magnum men.
Peed in a sink tonight. That drunk. I'm not proud of myself for what I did. But to carry it out with such class. I should be awarded
I gotta figure out which 7 tampons in the box contains the drugs
A man bought two 40's from me, then asked if I had duct tape. How do people over 50 know about Edward 40hands? It was very weird.
He asked me what I wanted the cake to say and I then asked him if "I'm sorry for throwing up in your bed last night" was too long. He said it was...
Nope my penis exudes pure oxygen in times of crisis.
Sorry I didn't answer your call last night, I was peeing on the driveway.
Are we planning this because I am online looking for places with a Mechanical bull
I’m sorry, some of us common-folk don’t have access to steady dick
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