I am now Facebook friends with Donkey Lips from Salute Your Shorts
mom and dad are leaving for florida on 4/20, this is a sign
Haha im Trying. This detox stuff tastes nasty. It's bad when the only thing that came to mind when i took the first sip was how good it would be with Vodka
i just overheard someone saying that they invented the 'tequila mockingbird' last night. sorry, but i found better friends
Its official. Iv'e been kicked out of a bar in every state. I would like to take my job and travel time for allowing this to happen.
No i'm not calming down the girl at white castle did not need to see the picture of my dick on your phone.
So I hooked up with a guy with a mustache and woke up on a dragon futon underneath a dragon yin-tang tapestry... My life is spiraling in a weird way.
Remind me in the morning that I've now seen a guy do crack. That actually happened. I'm at the wrong party.
I don't know if I'm feeling really nervous right now or just extremely horny.
I felt kinda awkward walking into his house in nothing but lingerie and my dead grandmas overcoat
I did cocaine off my boobs last night. Then I wrote two essays and went on a run. Go me
I said I wanted pizza tattoo on my ass and the tattooist asked me what I wanted on it.
My vagina is very pro this idea
I guess I was telling girls last night that I was a virgin with terminal cancer again
I’m mid 4sum and you’re sending me photos of your cat. We had very different evenings.
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