Stop everything. They have oreo straws to drink milk with and then you eat the straw. I think i just got turned on by a cookie commercial.
before i could say "i'm not that kind of girl", i was.
Drunk on an escalator. I fell like 15 flights of stairs without actually moving more than 5 feet.
i'm 67% sure he was trying to sing in hawaiian
he literally had a slideshow of all the girls hes had sex with pictures set to american woman
there's just a random girl here singing about how much she loves fiber
Holy mother of cocks. I was grind-with-my-boss drunk last night.
Looking for the remote in the couch. Finding Adderall beads. Considering utilizing.
how was it?
he was petting the bushes because they were "napkins"
You came on the chandelier from the first floor.. Of course were allowed back
Hmmm. I never knew the difference. I've done either one and had stronger or weaker versions but usually if i took enough, i tripped balls. That should be a PSA for kids... if you take drugs and the drugs are weak, just take more drugs... The More You Know
We exchanged snapchat usernames instead of numbers. Is that what America has come to?
I'm writing off my condom expenses in my taxes
Crying while listening to Miley Cyrus. BE GLAD YOU JUMPED THIS SINKING SHIP!
I've never had to kick an employee out of bed to go to work before.
Randomize
