people and things i regret. that's what i want to do tonight.
It was like a mary poppins bag, except a sexual mary poppins bag.
I got so high last night I started crying because i couldn't stop thinking about how scary space is
All I know is it had something to do with a plunger and tuna salad. I'm done. I'm quitting my job.
My piss changed color midstream. Think that means I have a 50/50 chance of passing the test?
just chugged some gatorade and threw it up. todays gonna be awesome
Found your dick twin last night
I found your wallet in my underwear drawer......... Don't worry I don't plan on asking any questions
Getting sick, pulled the filter off a camel crush and rolled it into my joint to clear my sinuses. If there were stoner awards, I'd receive one.
I wish him all the best and hope one day he can afford the surgery to remove his head from his ass
I think I will always strangely appreciate as well as kick ass at stoned dishes. Like for the rest of my life. Thank you slave job at Starbucks.
That female nurse who took a selfie with my man parts well I was out of it just got fired and arrested... You know all she had to do was ask lol
He got up after sex and said "is it wrong if I say happy Mother's Day?"
You thought her boot was a stray dog in your house..
After drinking all day I popped an adderal, slammed three beers in a row, apparently told the bartender "thanks bitch" then ran on stage.
Randomize
