i want tt clbm rinabw nd ride uncrn
what?
i wnt tto climb a rainboww and ride a unicornnnnnnnnn
You've picked up chicks by quoting metal bands
When they're drunk they believe it's Shakespeare...enjoy the simple things
The only comparison I have for the iPhone is that it's like youre constantly getting a blow job
do you think you could subtly ask him about the dimensions of his penis?
I tried to explain to the cop how we all have skeletons in our closets but he just wouldn't listen.
Home. Hour long discussion with mom. Very frightened. Eating a sausage. Don't remember making it. Confused.
I just explained it as we hate everyone in the world more then we hate each other. Thus making us friends. Plus we drink...a lot
I think drinking is the foundation of our friendship
I'm going for high school drunk, you've got 15 minutes to get here.
by the way whatever wisdom you imparted upon me last night was lost to whatever i smoked out of a beer can.
I'm pretty sure the girl in the stall next to me is waiting on me to leave so she can poop but I'm doing the same thing so it's like a Mexican standoff
he spent an hour trying to rescue a bug from the sink. turned out to be a sesame seed.
you licked my face then when I finally got you to the bathroom, mid puke you said you liked the taste of my foundation.....you weren't drunk at all....
So uh... Did you mail me business cards that describe my profession as "tortured soul"?
I dont even remember what i was saying but just one minute i was crying and the next i was showing u my genitals
She asked me to tell her the three words every girl wants to hear so I whispered "I play hockey" in her ear.
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