One girl and one boy is just not enough.
I've been thinking and really it's a miracle I haven't had an STD yet.
Update. It gets worse. A) he's done viagra and B) he wears socks at all times.
So in our children's lit class, some jackass little boy had gone thru the where's waldo book and circled waldo. I realize you would have been that kid.
It was like riding a jackhammer on a train during an earthquake. THAT amazing.
she let a homeless guy feel her up so she could go for a ride in his shopping cart
If you could smell my eyes you'd understand the whole story
My liver is crying. And I feel like I got fingered by Edward Scissorhands. While he was wearing brass knuckles
I rolled over and my thoughts became words and I said "oh fuck not you again" he didn't think that was too kind and asked me to leave
Heard you were the one that shit off Jamie's balcony. FYI there is a cabbie down here out for blood
You grabbed your house keys, threw them at the door and asked, "did it open?"
I just need some breakup sex yanno like filthy wish fulfilling breakup sex to make me forget what I never had
You start to question your party girl tendencies when you're wearing the same shirt you wore the night before to work and you're trying to get last nights Jell-O shot off the sleeve on your way to work
Well, I guess my plans of staying around the apartment and drinking my weight in boxed wine are ruined. I have a date tonight.
This is a crisis. I had a huge crush on him in seventh grade and now his girlfriend is due to have his child on my birthday. HIS CHILD CAN'T BE BORN ON MY BIRTHDAY.
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