She is totes cute on her twitter. Which totally sounds like a euphemism for coot.
Dignity is for republicans.
i totally fed the cab driver fruit salad with my hands while he was driving
I just did the math, I've had 8 hours of sleep in the last 3 days. Not sure if that means I am dedicated to my sex life or my job...
I can't keep up with all the guys you're banging. I'm just going to start referring to them by city of origin.
Wake up we need to beat the walk of shame rush hour
Currently sitting in the movie theatre bathroom while she gives him a blowjob in the parking lot. Don't ever tell me I'm a bad friend.
And think got sick again from going outside naked. Word to all females...don't try the naked trench coat thing.
Next Halloween I want us to dress up as jockeys, get drunk, and ride a carousel all night until we throw up or declare a winner
It's whatever. I just want to see his dick again
maybe facebook could make a notification like "someone tagged a photo of that guy you used to bang and still think is really hot with his shirt off"
10/10 would definitely still fuck you dressed as squirrel
I really need to curb my attractions to blondes with tattoo sleeves, firearms and alcoholism
Look at us. Planning our business meeting. Including snacks like shrooms & trail mix.
Ive completely stopped wearing makeup. Not even eyebrows. Thats how sick of wisconsin I am.
Randomize