did you make any bad decisions?
many, i pretty much fell in love with a freshman...it doesn't get much better than that
One little Beyonce reference and he turns on me faster than liberals on Jon Mackey
she said she didn't want to sleep with me again because I wasnt a generous lover. I ignored her slight moustache, didnt i? i think thats pretty damn generous
when she started singing "you look better when im drunk" to my cat i realized it was time to take her home
I didn't take her seriously until she snorted that ramen noodle flavor packet...
Yeah, half my ass was burnt and I was missing a shoe. I'm blaming you for the shoe.
Hes flirting with her via the sauce packets at taco bell....... I have no words
Instead of politely asking me to shave, he passive-aggressively left me a groupon for a bikini wax. So I passive-aggresively fucked his roommate. And his roommate didn't mind my bush when he went down on me. Anyway, do you want the groupon or not?
Only the gays. Guy gives me a handjob in the steam, then changes next to me under his towel
Only the gays
I just went into a strangers house to have a spoonful of sugar to cure my hiccups, wtf is wrong with me
He brought me breakfast in bed after our one night stand. Beer and Cheerios I may come back to this place
Dude, that was like bongs ago.
Don't you hate falling asleep on the couch with a glass of wine in your hand? It's like dreaming about peeing and then realizing you've peed the bed only stickier.
The Lion King Is on YouTube
Until 2 minutes ago I actually had a chance to pass my midterms... thanks alot
I just had a legitimate orgy. Wearing glowsticks.
Randomize
