I tried karate at age 7 and quit after realizing it conflicted with watching new episodes of "Full House."
Blew in her face. She is Pissed. Yahtzee. As she brushes her teeth.
I booked us a cruise for November. Lose 20 pounds and don't cheat on me before then.
You looked cold, so i decided to make you a blanket out of sticky notes.
He came, while we were making out fully clothed. I'm going to write a book.
I just told a kid I was in a wheelchair because Santa shot me due to me being on the naughty list. You should have seen this little bastards face
I am so hung over a medically induced coma is beginning to sound appealing.
so, she was so drunk she tried stabbing me with a corn dog stick
Any man who has a face like that and a bike, deserves a vagina like yours permanently.
You are a magnificent human being. I love you from head to toe. This wine is DELICIOUS.
You said that when your ex gave you a blowjob her mouth was like velvet
After we finished, she peed a little on my chest and told me she was "marking her territory". I didn't know if I should have been scared or aroused.
In theory, it seemed like it would work.
I asked him to get me another beer, and he started making muffins.
WHY CANT I FIND JUST A NORMAL DISNEY LOVING MAN TO PAINT WITH ALL THE COLORS OF THE WIND WITH!!
Randomize
