Nice. Sry i missed. Also sorry that i pissed on my toothbrush last nite
Sink seemed easy target but balance was no good
I have a fruit stripe tattoo on my penis. You're the only person I know who chews that gum.
Her father's a cardiologist, her mom's a lawyer...she just went from a 5 to a 10 real quick.
it never fails, everytime he manages to fuck my earrings out of my ears.
She keeps referring to it as an "us" Either she is seriously mistaken on what fuck buddies are or she learned another meaning of the word "us"
I smoked a bowl while he ate me out, you need to change your major to match making asap. You are a guru of love.
That's the last time I do shots near a campfire.
I just told a squirrel he was gonna suffocate because he was eating a plastic bag. and i stared at him till he spit it out. Its official, I love squirrels more than people. they actually listen.
You know he really cares when he gives you one of those on-the-go toothbrushes for your walk of shame before running to work
What is soo wrong about a house of half-naked people hugging each other and laughing?
The pinata full of drugs?
Dad's already had 6 Zionist conspiracy rants and moms trying to detect any "dark energies" in my soul. You have 4 days before you return to this shit: ENJOY THEM
The fact I have to evaluate my choice between tequila and fruity pebbles is a clear image of my life right now
If you keep giving me that glorious dick ill bake you some cookies
he had DANDRUFF in his PUBES. 0/10 would not blow again.
She’s fine. Found her in the bathtub eating Cheerios and watching Rugrats on an iPad.
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