who let me buy 6 packs of big league chew? and eat them all? thats not cool
Next weekend I am getting a library card and staying my whore ass home.
Canada is now making docos about life in America. Its called Trailer Park Boys.
i just got cockblocked by a guy drinking wine straight out of the bottle with a straw...
i just realized i dont have a sober facebook picture since 2007
He sent me a Microsoft outlook meeting request to blow him in the storage room at work. I had to accept.
I'm going on a valentine's date with the random guy i hooked up with in the bar bathroom this weekend...i feel like julia roberts
Date idea: we should go to the store and buy all the different kinds of Lay's and eat them all
Can we make 2014 the year of no unsolicited dick pics?
Sex followed by chicken and waffles... Hands down my favorite morning plans. Count me in.
Guys, as my favorite vagina consultants I have to share something.
My professional advice is not to put lemons in your lady pocket.
the quiet that you are hearing is a silent suggestion that you should go fuck yourself
Just walked in and got handed a drink. Good service
Its like the floor is slow but life is fast?
I see you found the nyquil...
You tried to fight someone about spaghetti o’s?
That hungover.
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