problem. drunk. stepbrother hitting on me again. help.
I just sold weed to a guy holding a baby...does this make me a bad person?
when i told him i was pregnant with his baby he texted me 'congradulations'
i pity the fetus.
She told me she couldnt give me head last night because she was running out of listerine
he kept asking me "do you love it? tell me you love it" as I was riding him.
and...?
I told him it was alright.
The sign in front of ihop says "designated drivers get half off their order"
We always say that. And then its 4am and someone is screaming at strippers.
I call it my summer of slut; except summer lasts from May until December. It's been incredibly successful
I don't know if I should be scared or excited that I can officially drink vodka on the rocks like it's 7up.
i want us to warm up up with us making out while i lay you down touching and feeling all the spots you know are going to get you warmed up. im gonna move down your body kissing every inch as i move down past your panty line ;)
Did you watch the carolina game tonight?
I'm willing to share. He can have sloppy seconds.
I've only hooked up with engineers this year and it may be the best future financial decision I've ever made
HE LIVES IN ANOTHER STATE
actually scratch that last text, he's the perfect boyfriend. He stays faithful and doesnt find out about all the guys here. it's a win-win
The first thing he said was that my underwear smelled like Trix but then he looked up at me and whispered "Silly rabbit, vagina is for me."
Jesus christos I come home and am treated like my vagina is made of gold
Either that or it dispenses candy
Randomize
