whoever gets the blood i just donated is getting a shit ton of free thc
win or lose for butler, i'm still masturbating to brad stevens tonight
The hot Japanese girl in my class just said her "favorite sexy American actor is Nick Cage." That, I can work with.
I can't tell if your life is amazing or needs reevaluation when "did I get hit with a nightstick" is a legitimate question.
He drives a BMW. I have to fuck him. Girl Code Rule #26.
Kurt said to text you and encourage you to come out tonight. Encourage you with my rack.
He went THROUGH MY PHONE (he's 30 for God sake) then asked me why I was stringing along 12 guys... I told him he could have just asked me if I was banging other people and then saved himself from looking at pics of dicks bigger than his.
Why did you send me 12 pictures in a row of your expressionless face at 2:30 am?
He told me that before I went to bed I needed to do my stretches and then processed to demonstrate a squat thrust, while completely naked.
I'm cutting her off I can't have my good name soiled with these kinds of shenanigans
Shit is preposterous
I shaved my balls for you. Do you have any idea how hard that is?
She wanted a dick pic so I sent her brett Favres dick pic then she asked why I have pictures of old men's beautiful dicks
I fucked the midget version of a backstreet boy and I am not mad about it
To describe how high he was he said, " I'm cocked out of my ape sandwich" so yes...that was some pretty good weed.
There’s a stripper dressed like a slutty pilgrim. Is that a thing?
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