I just hope this isn't happening Final Destination style
Travis Barker would totally be Devon Sawa in this scenario
It's really awkward/depressing when you are wearing heels larger than his dick
I just realized his fb pic was taken in a public bathroom.
I just had a formal request to dress as a boyscout for my meeting with Legal on Friday. From Legal. Time to go home.
I talked a bachelorette party out of a 4 person bucket of long islands, and drank it by myself. Please call me a taxi. The fat brides maid just grabbed my cock
My last memory involves me naked in a mens's bathroom stall. I really hope my date was with me.
This coming from the girl who broke up with a guy because she found out he played the tuba in middle school.
And the sky opened up and god said.... "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!!!!"
They were arguing about who would hit the piñata first so naturally you tore it open with your hands. You broke the piñata and their hearts.
She had her pubic hair down there shaved into the superman s............. Best one night stand ever.
Awkward, walking to my bootycall's hotel room and run into my dad leaving his. Just nodded to each other and went on our ways
I'm sure he likes you too... but your boyfriend is kind of a cockblock
Remember, today is also the anniversary of Harambe's death. D**** out.
Also I know now I was meant to be a comedian. Had both arresting officers laughing.
when you come over can you bring tequila and my birth control? Thanks girl!
Randomize
