I think scott just propositioned me for sex
Mid thrust he tells me that we have bio together
Pretty sure that this text will cost me like $5 but just wanted you to know that I just smoked a bowl of kush, about to walk around shopping for hookers and i get 3 credit hours for this study abroad .... have fun studying for finals.
If you bring me a slurpee and advil I will eat you out for like an hour.
He paid me to blow him while doing a handstand. Does that make me a whore or just a budding gymnast?
I thought that u needed a break due the fact that your nipples were bleeding
I really wanna know when trying to grow up turned into try not to throw up.
whenever he tweets that he wants to get blackout it's like a neon sign for "i want to bang you tonight"
Moral of the story: don't have drunken shower sex with the lights off...or you WILL break your foot. And the shower knobs.
Whip out the absinthe and the taquitos, this motherfucker just passed the bar.
So that prostitue I banged at Steve's bachelor party just texted and invited me to a BBQ at her parents. Never again doubt the power of the cock piercing.
Just had sex in the room next to my parents. Heading back to school ASAP.
All I got was pictures of my boss and dicks. So, that was the end of snapchat.
Sarah just give sum homeless dude a lap dance, took like 2$ worth of change from his cup and was all like, "Biiitch, this aint free"..
You planned on giving him head in the shower?
More like I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
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