she would only give me a road handjob because she didnt want to unbuckle
safety first
His room was full of guns. It was like having sex with Clint Eastwood.
do you ever get flashbacks of ppl you had sex with and just shudder at how gross they were/how drunk you were?
story of my life.
I don't think blacking out in class is a good idea. But I'm game
she blew me in the men's room in the restaurant. it was a french bistro, so it was okay
this kid woke up on our hotel floor and doesnt know how he got here
on my way back.. me and that kid will be great friends
I would ask why there is a chair tied to the door of the fridge.. but I am not sure anyone knows the answer.
You can't start the super bowl without starting a kitchen fire making cole slaw. Its unamerican.
I don't even want to know
Okay so.. What's with me and guys who have more than 2 nipples
Also. After puking outside of the bar last night, some guy (who saw me puking) said I looked like Jennifer Lawrence, called me J Law, got my number and is now texting me. Who knew puking and rallying would do me any good
I farted in his bed and then in my drunken stupor grabbed hair defanging spray to cover up the stench.
Why can't you just come over, fuck me, then leave so i can get stoned and watch law and order?
This is a friendly reminder to try not to shit on the toilet seat. If our 4 year old can manage it, I think you can too.
Wasted. And I have 5 pounds of potatoes that I'm responsible for.
Ever find a porn video so groundbreaking you mentally cancel all your Dick Appointments for the week?
Randomize
