She was lying in bed moaning while eating a Snickers and masturbating.
I drank 13 shots. Which is unlucky. Which is why i threw up.
you threw up because you drank 13 SHOTS
You know, be my cock's hype man.
he was banged his ex for coke the whole time and is still the best guy so far this year. standards need to be raised.
He came to my house drunk at two a.m., got in the hot tub, refused to get out until he smoked a blunt, and said "That's what brothers and sisters are for."
In between when I last wrote and now have screwed a Swiss guy on a hostel bathroom floor. Okay, real life?
Just made macaroni burritos. Fukkin awesome. We'll have to try this when I'm sober.,!
We were tripping too hard to figure out to tell him where we were so we sent a picture of me laying outside the tent saying "find us"
BING! You are now free to move about my panties. He just left for work.
A nap. You broke your hand napping in Vegas.
Pounded a bottle of Moscato in my underwear while watching Pretty Little Liars...am I really gonna be 30 next year?
Woke up on my sisters couch, and it was like the start of a Terminator movie,my brother in law was passed out on the floor naked in the fetal position. We now call him Arnold. It was an epic night.
What a way to start the day. Staring at penis for 3 hours
It's pretty much my favorite thing ever
He's not put together enough to have that big of a dick
you would not believe who i just fucked on my lunch break
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