If Ritalin and Plan B had an illegitimate child it would smell like me.
you shoved the noah's ark of animal crakers in your mouth saturday.
So here i am dipping ice cream in my vodka and watching the bad girls club on demand. This is not ok
I've decided I'm peeing in a solo cup then throwing it on his windshield. It's official. He called the cops 4 times in our first week at the house. He deserves it, right?
That's why I don't chug things. Because when I was a freshman in college tequila came out my nose.
The best part of last night was the women's softball game on the TV at the strip club
No, it's cool, I just bounced from the hospital. I was...talking to a security guard, maybe?
Have you seen him ? Seriously. No one is that straight.
So, my love of dick may have landed me in a cult. On the bright side, I now have a discount at Spencer's.
Helped a guy at work today that did nothing but stare at my chest....safe to say the Girls were looking G.O.O.D. today.
I can't believe that after 9 years of signing things as "BATMAN", the first place to turn it down was the liquor store down the block.
Sorry your girlfriend got you a valentines present and you forgot to get her one.
How long will your dick be dry?
Only thing exciting about him was his dick.
drunk me cartwheeled over a turtle sandbox & slit my foot open on a cinder block. how do you explain that to a doctor?
Whose the chick running for dorm president promising bigger dicks and softer toilet paper? That’s who I m voting for
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