Does leaving at 3 give Sara enough time to take the bus or are you picking her up?
I cant tell if your joking or not, but I'm picking her up
Do you need some kind of permission slip from her parents or can anyone just go and grab a high schooler these days?
Last night was a blur. All I remember is jizzing in the squeegee bucket at a gas station.
The look on the soccer mom's face was PRICELESS.
she sang that "this little piggy song" to my balls. and somehow made it work, with me only having two balls instead of five.
I'm about to enter vancouver's biggest liquor store. I feel like I should sent you a "wish you were here" postcard.
Beware of calls from Dad. I just had a longer than I would care to admit convo about the ididarod. Apparently it starts tomorrow.
She ate the cookie then went to the emergency room. Now her fam is pressing charges. Don't people understand you DON'T steal baked goods from potheads??
We should search craigslist for porches to sublet.
Im positive, your name was on my abdomen, Im pretty sure thats solid evidence
I am too drunk to deal with your everything. Reread this everytime you feel the need to talk to me.
Like if a baby's bottom had nipples, that's how my boobs feel
You gotta start bringing a flask to work so you can get a head start
Possibly a very genius or very terrible idea...
Someone should make a valentines day card that says "I like the way you continuously consume thc with no concept of a limit other than drug supply" Because I'd send that to you.
Also I'm sorry for asking you to shave my vagina for me last night
I don't want anything calamari shaped after last night. But I appreciate the Cheerios offer.
You had sex with a guy who has a purple beard last night. No Molly for a while, ok?
Randomize
