my computer doesn't work...
why?
i puked on it last night
is it really this hard to find a guy i can fuck and have a good time with who doesn't ask where things are going btwn us?
you sound like my dream girl
im 80% sure the guy across from me is taking pictures of my legs
there is this woman at the counter who looks identical to linda ellerbee. and she's grinning. COME. INSIDE. NOW.
i just fingered the ice cream at home instead of getting a spoon
been there done that
just the thought makes me want to clean my vag with a clorox wipe
how does a 20 year old who hasnt gone through puberty yet score the game winning goal? fuck sidney crosby and his small nuts.
Apparently everytime he put me down to bed I escaped out the window, I faintly recall climbing into the canoe in the back yard, and air paddling.
Her grandmother had a handicap stair lift. I just put her drunk ass on it and let her ride it up. Thank God for broken hips.
i'm pregaming while finishing a paper on cardio myocyte contractility in mice. i'm kicking finals week's ass right now
I'm so poor. I just wiped my ass with cocktail napkins... That I stole from the neighbors... When I was over there stealing Cheetos.
He fucked me so hard my nail polish actually chipped. I'm keeping him.
The orgasm I got from him made me feel almost as good as I imagine the girls in the tampon commercials feel.
we had to follow your trail of clothes to find you.......
skipped tacos for a blowjob. No tacos. No blowjob. More importantly...no tacos. Wtf?
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