Hey, It's Lauren. i wanted to talk to you tonight. I like you, as you know because kyle told you. I was wondering if you liked me too?
Are you in the third fucking grade? Check yes or no.
I hid a 6pack in the microwave for later
I knew I liked you
he took off my shirt and said 'oh my god the legends are true'
I make my boyfriend pay for half of my birth control. We call it his monthly rent.
So...it's hour 4 of day 5 of week 7 of my internship, and so far all ive done is shred paper. all. day. long. it's like working for Enron.
you almost dropped the shot glass then you thought you were such a hard ass for catching it that you slammed it on the table and broke it
I went from innocently day drinking to waking up handcuffed in jail. Fuck you game days
She's the one that asked you what my favorite color was & handed you a piece of bacon
I have fireworks and redbull; let's make heart attack inducing magic happen.
Day drinking is so dangerous way too many construction workers out there to flirt with
Well, we could've been at the bar taking a shot everytime my rash spread. But Noooooo. You had to go out with your non- girlfriend. Lame.
She yelled "taste the gay rainbow" in a biker bar. She's either brave or fuckin stupid.
i may or may not have bought a plane ticket for a russian cam girl to fly here. also, can you spot me $300 on rent?
I licked your asshole in confidence.
you've already made the comitment to pee in public you should at least whip your dick out
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