the only girl from my high schools graduating class coming to our school next year went stag to prom and still has braces...
dibs.
i was unaware that anal sex sometimes ends with shit on the bed.
miscarriage! now THATS a gift from god.
drunk me is my new role model. he's fearless. like not even afraid of tornadoes.
Hey is it bad when your boss leans over your desk and tells you "you smell like the Rainforest Cafe"??
After he came inside me, he made us hold hands and pray that I wasn't pregnant.
Nothing like hearing a USA chant while getting head. God bless America.
Drunk Tina signed up to be part of the crew team and got a text from the captain telling her there's practice tomorrow. Wtf
It's 3:30pm, I've been out of bed for an hour and spent most of that barfing. We're switching to beer next debate.
Just watched my entire extended family eat salad out of the bowl i threw up in last night.
How long is enough time to schedule homosexual exploration... Like an hour?
I'm slacking. We've been hooking up for months and I have yet to bang him while he's wearing the clown mask.
He got me to hold his phone, wallet, keys and pants while he hooked up with another girl.
You'll never fully grasp an awkward walk of shame until you run into his mom while you're trying to sneak out. Then to make matters worse you have to ask her to mover car because it's blocking you in.
and I lost my effing shirt.
My friends said as soon as you walked in, I motor boated you like there was no tomorrow.
Yeah, I liked it.
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