jackpot. dress really slutty so he knows you mean business
Do NOT cum in me, on me, or in my bed.
this boner is exhausting
I think I'm finally maturing. I'm happy he found someone. Good for him. I sincerely hope she doesn't choke on his tiny penis.
Show him your tits if he says no
They're not help-me-out-of-jams tits. They're I-fake-people-into-thinking-they-look-good tits.
Maybe he'll be famous someday and I can forget that anything embarrassing may have happened and just say that I fucked that famous guy.
And literally 4loko margaritas are callin my name. They're like "Hey girl come on over here I'll make you forget about grades and boys and it'll be a good idea to send everyone 55 snapchats of your cleavage" ok
Children cease to be precious when they crap their shorts in the pool I exercise at.
You didn't say, "No." And you stole more than half of my Snickers. You owed me that dick.
I feel like every time I get the courage to masturbate to a guy from Game of Thrones, they kill him off.
He hand fed me trail mix then I watched the video of me the next morning. He was actually feeding me meow mix.....that drunk. I still have no regrets marrying him
My mom found me this morning passed out, face down on my dinning room floor
That must have been one awkward situation haha
Well I woke up in my bed.... I don't remember her finding me
He has me blocked on facebook.... so I stalked him using my cats fan page.
he called her and asked for me. he wants to do dinner and a movie
her booty call wants to take you to dinner?
i only got to wear my halloween costume for an half hour before it got taken off.
Randomize
