Partly cloudy chance of praying to the porcelin gods
thanks 4 putting "im not your boyfriend baby" on my sex playlist. she just got pissed and left.
i recognized the place by the puke stain i left on the pool table when i hooked up with his roommate.
I feel like hell. The amount of black beans I found in my hair tells me I hit rock bottom
I'm going to die alone in a sea of empty vodka bottles and cats.
Dude Eric's high and buying everyone taquitos. How much room do we have in the freezer?
and I believe it was when I was running to class to take a test still drunk in my Halloween costume that I realized I have reached that point in the semester where I just don't give a flying fuck anymore.
She kept grabbing my head and told my faces to stop shaking.. Also, she kept whispering something about seeing flowers in my eyes.
He said I could liberate his beef and all I could think about was how I don't eat veal for political reasons.
So I saw her today...and it was weird...she is just like not pregnant anymore.
Dude...how high are you? of course she isnt pregnant anymore...thats what happens when you give birth
I'll remember. Also, I owe you 200 for a pair of shoes that I carelessly bought to improve my spinal structure, to improve my health and ensure that I love to be 300 years old. Like Adam. Of the bible.
Jesus Christ that hit just spoke to so many levels of my soul. It's caressing them softly
Not only do I have a well-defined bite mark on my arm, but I also have a perfectly clear bruise of a handprint wrapped around my arm like a tribal tattoo. Thoughts on how that happened?
I’m getting reeeeaaalll tired of telling cute boys I gave them chlamydia.
That’s two in three months. You really know how to live.
What? No, wine isn't my weakness, I just love it.
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