I'm so fucking centered right now
that's when I learned why R Kelly peed on that bitch
i think 'regret' was last night's theme. i could taste it in my mouth and woke up next to it.
no ping pong balls so we're playing beer pong with an ornament. you can't tell me that's not festive.
I was thinking of baby names while I was giving him a blow job
i proceeded to stick my hands in his pants while he continued to repeat i have a girlfriend
I just don't know what he sees in my vagina...and that scares me.
he payed over $300 just to break into the hotel pool and skinny dip alone for 5 minutes and then peace in a cab. and all he had to say for himself was "gotta go swimming, gotta live life"
where do u find these people!?
Its... i dont even know. theres lots of rap music and i cant find my shoes
Every grown women needs to pee herself once in her life. It builds character.
For sure shouldn't do homework after beers and joints. Just cited like 3 sentences at the end with (History, 2013)
We don't have any ice, so I'm using the frozen cognac to reduce the swelling on Abby's toe.
PSA- Wearing assless chaps results in embarrassingly painful sunburn
if being 21 means slamming 99 cent margaritas at 3:00 in the afternoon on a Tuesday then call me Peter Pan IM NEVER GROWING UP
He said it was the classiest hand job he ever had because my nails were painted red. We need to go to nicer bars from now on.
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