You should've come with us, we're at Home Depot looking for men.
I believe that I finger-banged my way to the top of the corporate ladder.
What are you wearing to our high school reunion?
I don't know, What kind of dress says "I feel sorry for you people?"
I just threw up, I'm either bulemic or pregnant, and I'm now accepting bets on which it is
11am puke and rally. THIS is what I'm gonna miss about college.
M WATCHING THE HISTORY CHANNEL AND IT SAID THAT WHEN THE LUST PART OF THE BRAIN IS ACTIVATED THE JUDGEMENT PART IS NOT. THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
The cab driver had me sign for the payment and I was like give me a second while I throw up right outside your door.
not good my parents heard a big thud and found me passed out in the bathrrom abt an hr ago. hit my head arm and side. dont remember. real talk.
I don't understand or I understand perfect - if were not talking about fried chicken I'm not sure what's happening.
He offered to take me to my appointment after breakfast then kind of just sat there and watched me get a papsmier. Most awkward first date ever.
Seriously considering modifying my computer case so it can dispense wine. I need to make a bunch of changes and reorganize it's guts anyway....
Fuck it, I'm going to make my own dick pic album since iOS 10 won't do it for me.
This is a weird combination of planning and sexting but whatever
Idk what's happening right now but im wearing a tutu and pissed as fuck.
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