I just realized I had sex more when i looked like a fat elton john. Fuck my life.
Dude I gave him a bj because he was upset about the NFL draft, if that doesn't lock it down, i don't know what does
I have the Lakers game on, but all I can think about is having sex with you. Not sure what you've done here.
Then we all started singing, "Our house, in the middle of the street. Our house, fucks a lot of freshman meat". It was magical.
I woke up to blood crusted on my face. I don't understand
team rage. no explanation necessary
I found a ladder. I don't know where I am. Gonna climb it. I feel like aladin
Kegstand on crutches, you need to get on my level.
That kid i sell weed to just had his mom give him a ride over here she waited in the car while he bought a bag
I'm wearing a dinosaur hat bikini cone bra over my shirt. So good things are happening
You went to a drug deal in a onesie.
I'm using her Instagram as a way to know where in town she is so I can avoid her lol
I was going to make you have an awkward boner around all your coworkers but then I fell asleep.
Oh damn it. Let me get a beer. I can't take anymore bad news. Hold on.
All I remember was my mom walking through the door, and then me asking her if she wanted a hit.
I don’t have enough daddy issues for this shit, make him go away
Randomize
