help help how do i get him away from me should i talk in a robot voice or something
there are two kinds of girls in this world: my mom, and sluts.
sometimes you just have to pull up your panties, blow a kiss to the security camera and walk out of the alley like nothing happened.
Does she usually listen to trance and cut up broccoli when she's high?
some gay kid said he wanted to blow him because "his eyebrows told a story"
There was a photo of his face glued to a lifesize Kim Kardashian cutout. By the end of the night he was doing shots out of medicine cups and making everybody hug it goodbye.
You just said we could build a blanket and pillow "fuck fort." Of course I'm never leaving you.
The gay is strong with you! You're more concerned about my outfit than my safety.
her tits were more amazing then brown bears with armor and guns that fire bullets of Justice that destroys inequality.
I literally just fucked insane clown pussy. 24 yo nut job moonlights at children's parties. Gave me head while still in full clown makeup from my kid's birthday party.
My mother is a bitch. She just outed me to my dad. He wants to meet you by the way...
I think I'm destined to be the stoner version of one of those successful but emotionally unavailable characters Sandra Bullock always plays in movies
How is there a hawk inside this house? More importantly how the hell is he handling it without any gear?
FIVE TIMES AND I HAVENT GOTTEN OFF ONCE
literally yelled NOOOO right before he finished .. yelled “five times and I still haven’t gotten off” when he was still inside me ..
Said “don’t worry I’ll get myself off tomorrow” to top it all off
Here's a rundown of my night alone. Danced my ass off in the kitchen to FleetmacWood. Drank a little bit. Ordered $40 worth of Chinese food once the drinks kicked in. Picked up said Chinese in dirty sweatpants and slippers. #livinglife
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