Pregnant stripper...not hot.
Am I allowed to make my facebook status "loves farting in chairs"? I think it would shock every boy that I am friends with.
yah i'm on my way- is everything ok?
i'm holding a walmart bag of my own hot vomit that i closed up with some random chicks hair tie. we r pretty fucking far from ok
champagne bombs. Yes, i think that is where things may have gotten out of control.
ok, just found out the kid i had random sex with in April was on wheel of fortune so i can really no longer say i regret that night
I asked if he wanted to come over and he said he was busy. Then I sent him a pic of me in the bath with the bottle of wine I already finished and all of a sudden he was free. Booty calls are too easy.
If you need to be the damsel in drunken distress make sure it's before 3.
Just wanted to say, I appreciate your bravery in having read receipts
Bro i pulled the fucking willy wonkas gold ticket of ratchets the other night this chick was a real treat god bless her
I want a battle ostrich, get me a battle ostrich and then come and make love to me
There is an unwrapped tampon, a condom, a rubber chicken and a slim Jim currently sitting on our dining room table.
I'm sitting here with a heating pad and a fan on me eating snow caps off of my boobs
He's hot....knda sweaty, drunk smells like feet....but he's hung like a whale....so in other words totally your type
Sitting in the dr office she literally looked at my throat and goes have you been having oral intercourse
He passed out while I was riding him but stayed hard long enough for me to orgasm. He definitely earned the blow job I’m going to wake him up with in the morning!
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