ur plase or mine? lol
well if you don't learn how to spell, you may be at your place and I'll be at mine.
his dick got so hard in his pants and it broke his zipper
so apparently the car got towed with me passed out in the back seat.
I ended up with a bullet proof vest and I still don't know his last name.
Does anyone know why "math wizard" is written on my arm?
it wasn't sex so much as.....a disastrously uncomfortable sexual experience
I think drinking everclear was a better idea than taking a night class.
It's a 'fuck poison control' kind of night.
im In safeway buying a bottle of Ciroc in short shorts at 3:00 pm on a Monday, yeah I don't know either.
Just got a message from a drag queen on okcupid. I cant even catfish successfully.
I met my future husband in an elevator. Think Hispanic version of Dr. Bunsen Honeydew from the Muppets, but with eyes like Michael Fassbender.
You spent the entire night trying to get me to make out with you
yeah I remember. your boyfriend shouldnt have cheered me on though.
There was a clear and well defined point last night where I could've decided to go home but no now I've woken up with glitter all over my nuts and potentially an std or 2
Can I send you a random dick pic? It's got a lightsaber tattoo
the coup got in the way of sex but inauguration day came thru we did it joe
Randomize
