Laying in bed naked with the guy I just fucked, talking to his WIFE who's sitting across from us like we're having a fucking tea party. This is interesting.
Regardless of the degree, it's probably not good to relate so closely to the Steve-O documentary.
Not hooking up w him- he has one of those L.L. Bean book bags w his initials on it
i was sitting in the back seat of her car with her boyfriend while she was driving. it was pretty awkward, but i dont think "so my dick's been in your girl's mouth too" was a good ice breaker
He told me he was ok to drive home. Then I found him face-planted in the parking lot.
We shoved chex mix between her tits for her own survival.
I will probably be peed on at some point today.
I told him he was a man of science and that he should conduct experiments on my tits to see how they stay up. I need you to hold onto my larynx when I'm drunk.
He turned me into a screamer. Guess I'm really not a lesbian.
Yeah, if you don't like strip clubs you won't like microwave chimichangas.
My mind just played a snippet of me asking to be a Joey and trying to climb into your apron pocket...
He ripped my sink off my bathroom wall and then threw up in it.
I honestly don't understand how your night went from singing a touching rendition of Africa to an angry political rant to low key trying to find a frat boy to bang to doing dishes to yoga
You can tell by the way he cuddles that he's got mommy issues
While I was giving him head he told me he had to go door to door the next day and "spread the word of Jesus Christ" I felt like a Disney villain out to steal his virtue.
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