I'm not a real person
I'm sorry, everyone knows that
So I used to make fun of texas a lot, then I got here and I found a place where I could get my tequila in a to go cup with a straw and I realized that this is the only place I ever want to be
literally followed a trail of condoms to the bus stop this morning. Ahh modern-day bread crumbs
I'm not 100% on this, but I'm pretty sure I just accidently talked my way into a threesome.
She should get an extra 30 days for that Georgia Rule movie......terrible.
Does he not understand that naked slip and slide needs supervision after dark?!
I honestly didn't see the problem playing beer pong In the car on the road trip home.
be proud. or at least amused. an 18 yr old and a 25 yr old at least makes my average hookup age this week the same as my age.
This bitch rocks a fuckin fanny pack and still manages to lose her phone at every thirsty thursday
Topenga is going to be back on TV. Finally my fantasy of her being a milf in junior high has come full circle.
Guess who woke up with a hangover this morning? The same person whose parents found out and woke her up by banging pots and pans with wooden spoons.
If making out with three guys at once at a Kesha concert while simultaneously smearing glitter all over yourself doesn't convince her you're gay, nothing will
if you guys find pieces of my teeth don't throw them out please
The vodka gummy bears are so strong. If I die of alcohol poisoning, please tell my dad it was single malt scotch.
You should have thought of that before emitting walrus sounds while intoxicated
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