im sorry i didnt take advantage of you..iwaned to
i wanted you to too
how could I be having a bad time, I have the three most important things in life: Goat cheese, Xanax, and Saved By the Bell Re-runs.
whats wrong with me. i have a coffee mug of wine in the library and i'm doing homework
i woke up, turned over, and noticed an assortment of knives stuck in my wall. i should prob stop drinking
He just left me a message saying he left the rest of the weed for me. Did i just get paid for sex? And if yes did i just get paid in drugs?
I just realized this is gonna be the last time that I'm high in my childhood home. I'm kinda sad. I'm really high..
Ha ha. You should see the things I'm doing to my body at Bob Evans.
If it looks really sketchy and smells like burnt pizza and pot you're in the right place
Leaving your birthday party to engage in a threesome IS allowed. I checked the rule book.
I inadvertently smoked 6 blunts at one time. We just kept passing them around...I didn't know what happened until it was over. I can't walk.
There should be a rule. If your dick is under 6 inches, you are not allowed to dress as Thor.
His pet bird was perched ON HIS DICK.
After we had sex he went to the kitchen, came back with a bag of funyuns and ate them buck ass naked in his bedroom doorway. Had no idea how to react to that one.
Sorry didnt text you yesterday. had to put restraining order on my ex.
OMG OMG OMG Ive hit the penis jackpot
It seriously took everything in my power not to sleep with him
What did it come out and serenade you? Lol
It sang to me in the dark. It was magical
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