AIM automatically accepts video chats on my laptop. I found this out when I got a text from Jacob after my first attempt at drunk lesbian sex saying, "I'd give it a 7. You need to work on your positioning." I think I'm single now.
I swear to god he was trying to crawl under my door last night muttering "I'm Alex Mac! I'm Alex Mac!"
Dude I'm telling you, conditioner is the best for jerking it in the shower. It feels great and afterwards everything is all smooth
so my mom told me to suck on something if I have to cough. so I guess blow jobs are ok
when you get a chance can you look up 'free abortion clinic' for me? cuz i dont think i'll be lucky enough for a second miscarriage.
Then we managed to set a grill and all 24lbs of meat on it on fire. I didn't help because I was filled with alcohol and extra flammable.
I took 20 bucks from you because when I woke up I saw more of you than I ever wanted to see bro.
Totally acceptable.
Got home last night and found a Big Mac in the shower, tampons all over the place, and two pairs of your panties on the front porch.
She had a cast on when I met her, but she blamed me for breaking her arm this morning. I'm gonna marry this girl.
So this bar tattoo not looking that great now
and than he said 'I did amateur porn for a while' and I just knew tinder did not fail me this time
like i got into his car and the beatles were playing. this kid is def getting his dick sucked
I did a line of coke with my ex tonight. Talk about memories
No fucking Jell-O shots or meth. Those are the rules
Just found a note on the bed that said "Dear mittens, had to leave early I'll be back soon."
WTF? Are you mittens?
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