just had dinner with my dad's new gf and her daughter.. had to drink a beer to get through it.. she's 19 she has on a disney watch and snowflake earrings
I wish there was some sort of "recently added" function for blackberrys so i could see what random numbers i got from the night before
i'm about to say screw it and get drunk in the hotel by myself
It's 2 pm, at least sit by the pool...
I didn't just randomly come up with it. But if you want to give me extra credit for creativity I have a bare chest and chocolate sauce left
I planned on emotionally scarring him for life this weekend. DAMN YOU PERIOD!
You motherfucker. I just had an MRI with a penny under my boob.
You left your underwear in a sandwich bag on my kitchen counter.
I'm told I threw my cigarettes at the TV one by one Shouting about the cast of Community.
Do you sleep with the same women I've already slept with on purpose?
So I have been told that I licked your eyebrows last night
Dude I'm hungover as fuck in a bed in Baltimore with another man... I don't think I can make it.
I yelled out "blow jobs!" in my macroeconomics class. Ask me more about how my life is spiraling out of control.
the guy working the counter at the liquor store noticed i got my haircut and said it was pretty.....
Wine through a straw in a subway cup.....classy
might I remind you I fucked a 21 year old and almost did coke with strangers? you definitely came out on top
Randomize
