I just want to hang out with her.
You're a liar. Why do I have to give you reasons you can't have sex with my mom? I hate you.
you know you made it when your beer pong table is made from imported italian hardwood
he called me back to his office so he could lick a line of pixie stick off of my thigh
be sure to add "office slut" to your resume
My tits are coming out a minimum of ten times
so does the 200 for rent and 150 for utilities include the never telling my boyfriend about the guys i bring home.. or is that extra?
Blood and glitter go together right?
Kurt said to text you and encourage you to come out tonight. Encourage you with my rack.
He's easy on the eyes, light on his feet, and rough in bed...what more could a girl ask for in a rebound?
I just almost puked & then I panicked and forced it back down because I thought I would be a waste of the apple turnover I ate.. I'm that hungover
Omg I can't even...
I feel like one thing if I have going for me is that my bed looks like a nice place to have sex
Wall of shame with a backpack full of beer bottles, cowboy hat in hand, and a handlebar mustache. I was applauded by a passing car
I just found a grey hair. On my nipple. Fuck you too, Mother Nature.
I just had sex with a man wearing a Darth Vader helmet....he pressed the voice button the whole time that said "I am your father". I don't think I can ever come back from this
I screenshoted his dick pic the other day because it literally looked like a brontosaurus. Like that really tall dinosaur that eats grass. Like I wanna draw a face on it.
I'd still fuck that
You'd fuck a dead moose
Quite possible
Randomize
