my mom just poured a water bottle of wine to take my dog on a walk...
I imagine the nuva ring like a bug zapper. It just kills them all.
Your sister reminds me of me at her age. Stop her while you can.
when i tried to put the condom on he started screaming about how he didn't want his groceries bagged
Dude, they are shaking the RV, yell at them. It feels like i'm being rocked to sleep, I don't like it, I'm not a baby.
I ate goldfish off your shoulder, I think we had bigger issues
Im dating a 38 year old who's lap I can fit in. Tell me I don't have daddy issues.
My now ex hook up buddy realized I was hooking up with others when she saw my spotify sex playlist making appearances on fb. fml
I need to wear something that says I would have sex with you but I'm not going to
I WOULD NEVER LIE ABOUT SOMETHING AS SERIOUS AS SABADO GIGANTE BEING CANCELED
I'm fine with our borderline lesbian behavior.
I just watched a porn called gay of thrones and I think I've reached a new low in my life
I used your vibrator when you were out of town. Now I know why you always come out of your room smiling.
I promised her before I left that I'd make good choices and then got drunk and fucked my best friend and her boyfriend.
Hungover at Subway, watching a business guy try to squeeze his way past my car to get into his. Bitch shouldn'ta parked over the line.
You truly are a temple of morality.
I am the night, I am justice, I am currently watching the fat biz guy pay a frat boy to back his car up for him so he can get in.
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