i just got a UPS package from a name and address i dont know, with one of my thongs in it. no recollection.
i just googled "who won the civil war" . how can i still have a 97% in this class?
You left half a beer on someones car and claimed it was a second day of hanakuh gift
you have to give me like a days notice for these kinds of things, you cant just call at 9 am and expect me to be sober
Was just practicing flip cup with my NyQuil cup...
it's like iHOP with fire
Birthday was great, I got entirely too drunk and made really poor life decisions. It was everything a birthday should be.
You missed practice last night. You owe at least 8 hours of liver sprints.
Ramen still too hot to eat. Eating it anyway. Stoner girls feel no pain
I was proudly and successfully the first girl ever to get kicked out of a the bar for being too drunk last night. Loving spring break.
I shit myself when I came, don't have flu sex
She wanted me to stick my dick in the birthday cake she got me
he called me 'mate' and i had to remind him that you dont call people mate who continously make your dick hard
So will your sis find it a compliment if I tell her I lost out on some awesome dick to go to her bday dinner???
I think this is the first time I heard a lesbian version of baby it's cold outside.
Randomize
