when im bored during the day i often think, what do people who dont get high do with their day.. i came to the conlcusion that everyone must be getting high
Dude I just heard my boss singing from the bathroom "I love making poop"
dude relax anyone of us could have gotten that girl pregnant
I just had a flashback to last nights party, I'm pretty sure I told most of the people there that I post a masturbation schedule for an iCal download.
Kinda wish I banged him. I need the exercise.
We are going to be Siegfried and Roy for Halloween and you are going to be the tiger.
Our innocent game of 'Duck, duck, booze.' ended up not being so innocent
I think I'm the only sober person in the whole bar. If you count drinking less than 10 tequilas sober.
I am going to buy some m-80's and keep a bucket of them in the bathroom. That way I can just depth charge the toilet before each time I use it. Lets see how those snakes like cheap Chinese explosives
I dapped up a cop while leaving the party
Well you busted in the house and yelled with pride about Uber giving you a ride over with your new bong.
Would it be weird to bake him a cake that says "sorry I peed on your bed"?
you were so drunk that when the mouse on your laptop didnt work anymore you decided to just take it into the bathroom and pee on it while laughing like a mad scientist.
It was great. We stayed up all night talking about objects he'd put in his theoretical vagina.
I FOUND A VIBRATOR IN MY BABY BROTHERS ROOM. IM FREAKIN OUT MAN ITS BIGGER THEN MINE
put it back and chill out ok
NO FUCK HES 15 WHO EVEN SOLD HIM THAT HES A BABY
Randomize
