You need Jesus like Tony Danza needs another hit show.
i wonder what thom yorke's orgasms sound like
I drove you home. there is no excuse for wrecking your car 3 hours later.
i made potato chips in weed oil. what did you do today?
I stole so many things from the ER last night.
i think if i got caught drinking at work i could get away with it if i started crying and saying my cat just died. as long as i'm confident.
We looked at pictures of a Texas banjo contest from 2006 for a half hour and then were surprised by who won. That stoned.
They were taking shots out of the caps of perfume bottles. This is too much for me.
He is like a dragon that makes me want to spread my butt cheeks, so he can fill me with hot fire.
Of course not. I'd be offended if you didn't bring my boobs into casual conversation.
I'm not a whore anymore. I gave up 90% of my women for you. I'm a 4-5 woman kind of guy now.
I just jerked him off with one hand while holding my wine glass with the other and watching Congo. I feel like this was a preview to my married life...
He said he would get me a helmet and bedazzle it with my name and address so the cabs would know where to take me
He was out clubbing with his SON. WHY did you let me KISS HIM? Also WHERE WAS HIS SON?!
shots, cocks, socks. bingo
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