I want to touch your soul through your body...with my penis...
Mike i'm at church right now...
her vagina looked like a handful of raisins.
Of course it's dangerous. Why else would they hire us after we failed the drug test?
What's bad is when she said "what hobo did you steal this dick from?"
i get of class at 4. it takes me 17 minutes to walk home and 3 to load a bowl. thank you, priority registration.
It's like a toaster oven for my penis
The real reason I can't work: it's Tuesday. I get stoned and watch Buck Rodgers on Tuesday.
i seriously haven't spoken to him since i drunk dialed him and told him i loved his beard
if elf comes on TV one more time i swear to god i will smash my brains out with this fruitcake
seriously the second he called my tits warlocks was the second I knew I wasn't going to fuck him.
And that was the night we had mind-blowing sex with the score from Raiders of the Lost Ark blaring on vinyl in the background...
I have 35 pounds of pennies. Need any?
Girl just left one of the apts upstairs carrying a giant bottle of kahlula and a lunchable.... I feel like we could be friends
Cops swarmed my car last night in the walmart parking lot cause of the paper plate
I would let him fuck me right here in this laundromat. Praise Satan.
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