so... another position just opened up(704) Oh really?(704) Is it John's?(704) Or did you find a new way to take a penis?
I dont get it-she has sex with me but wont be my facebook friend?
Is it weird I updated my facebook status from my phone while I had explosive diarrhea in my boss's private bathroom?
That would be awkward if he commented on your status
i decided not to call her again when she started singing "goodbye my lover" as i was walking out the door..
There is a bruise on my cock the size of a golfball. Bad sign.
It's been decided..lingerie is an investment. You get free breakfast and cab rides out of it.
ask me again when I'm sobewr aka tuesday
sometimes when you're high at work you just have to say fuck it and eat the dog treats
I asked him why he was eating an entire can of refried beans, the only answer I got was "revenge"
Dude this weed smells so good they should make it into a Vicks vapor rub scent and I would rub it all over myself.
Yeah I was thinking something along the lines of "I almost died, lets celebrate with sex. Come over"
I stole a tiki torch last night and just returned it. Things have been better.
well I got an eye infection from a stripper motorboating me but overall it was a great weekend
I guess I'm an especially affectionate person under the influence of tequila.
Just sitting at dinner with my dad...simultaneously texting "daddy" to confirm saturday's spanking and telling another guy to get condoms before Im done with dinner. Don't know when I got so ate up but I'm loving it. You?
Regretting asking you what you were doing.
Randomize
