what age do we have to be before we can stop fucking guys on the first date?
Is it just me, or does Colt McCoy look like Herbie the Dentist from "Rudolph the Red-nosed Reindeer"?
Never again let me pretend to be australian for free booze.
i remember introducing him to all my posters and making him be extra nice to frank sinatra and bob dylan before he fucked me
How do people deal with hangovers? I literally want to eat my own face.
my goal was to make out with as many people dressed as batman as possible. I have my priorities.
The good thing about having holes in your nose from all the drugs you do is that you can't smell nasty things. Like puke.
Woke up on the stairs at my parents house. Good start to vacation.
Btw if you ever get emails that pretty much contain 'bwahhhhh jatkkvsweuo' it's safe to assume it's me.
He said he was walking down to the White Castle for sliders, still drinking straight from a 750. He came back two hours later pushing a grocery cart that had two puppies in it.
The puppies promptly had the squirts all over the living room, as he had fed them the sliders.
She tackled him mid-puke while the other two were cutting up a $60 dildo with a kitchen knife and putting the pieces in a Corona bottle.
I was looking at the storm clouds during my run and one oddly resembled ur penis
Fell asleep on kitchen floor again, chicken nuggets everywhere.
So stoned that I pressed the unlock button on my car keys to walk into my bedroom...
I woke up at 6:30 in the morning on the A train on 14th street. You wouldn't know anything about that right?
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