Is it sanitary to roast marshmallows over a cigarette lighter?
We had an indepth conversation about his employment at Arbys..
that awkward moment when your booty call gets snowed in at your place.
he fucked me to the beat of the construction going on outside my house. i will never look at jackhammers the same ever again.
I feel like all of the victims from Seven. Best birthday weekend ever.
You're only allowed to hookup with one freshman a semester. MAKE IT COUNT.
Stoned, drunk, and walking into the library. Look at me multitasking!
You played Frank Sinatra today after we had sex. You moved way up in my literal book of men. Congrats.
You humped everything and cried in an uber.
Those people that talk about exercise endorphins have never experienced a 9x13 pan of mac n cheese endorphins
Amazon is not showing any promising results for penis tree toppers and I am genuinely surprised. Clearly this is a market that needs to be addressed.
I came so hard I literally levitated off the top of his dick. Gravity was no match for that orgasm!
He said 'I really struggle with the sin of lust' then we proceeded to have sex. So I guess it was a perfectly executed Catholic pick up line?
Sorry for face licking, I probably won't do it again.
Also, I love cats. I sat on the floor and they sat with me.
Mass text: You have all failed me. How have the people I loved so much let me go so long in life without ever eating a McRib sandwich?!
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