i wanna do a homemade sex video in sepia and pretend were in the early 20th c
I'm cooking a can of baked beans on the baseboard heater. It is too early in the semester to be this poor.
I've eaten cheese dip for three consecutive meals. I think I need to branch out.
Getting cock-blocked by Jeff Bridges. NOT OKAY.
you had a pretty long talk with your shrooms in attempt to make them not give you a bad trip, it failed
Make sure your heart doesn't explode. These are words of wisdom.
Alright, my brain isn't sure how to properly function on a Wednesday with no hangover and more than 3 hours of sleep.
Ugh. This is the type of hangover that all other hangovers want to grow up to be.
I just explained it as we hate everyone in the world more then we hate each other. Thus making us friends. Plus we drink...a lot
I think drinking is the foundation of our friendship
Lift me 50ft in the air like a tow truck but with your penis
How high are you exactly
The body is still out there. I don't think my trainer realized when he asked me not to drink for 24 days, how often I see dead people
I'm over here trying to figure out how to get shake shack delivered to my bed and Jamie is having a child
Dont you look at me in that tone of voice
I haven't listened to news as I've been having lesbian sex all night. Anything new?
I’ve got a closet full of cosplay outfits and horny boytoy to help me ride out this pandemic
Randomize
