Peanut Butter and turkey sandwich...this may come back to haunt me
I'm thinking of having one or both of my boobs out. They're small but they're mighty.
Promise me that if I become one of those sad people that facebook pesters you to 'reconnect with' you'll tell me so I can delete mine and save myself the humiliation?
i knew she was desperate at the point in which she started showing me her naked pics on her phone
Sad Megan is Sad
Have you been drinking my beer?
I figure a girl that drinks as much as I do should always have pregnancy tests on hand
My teacher just let our class out 30 minutes early, its a 50 minute class. He said the only thing we had to do was get fucked up tonight and have stories about it on Monday.
All I know is that every time I looked at my glass it was full again and I thought it would be rude not to drink it
That feeling when you're ready to convert to the religion of whatever god will stop the vomit. Dynamite is illegal.
I just sneezed glitter I JUST SNEEZED G LITTER I j u st SneeZED GLIT TER I DO NOT HAVE TIME FOR THIS AT ALL.
Did he think I was flirting with him when I ordered a hot dog bc no
I was struggling morally, but once I let go, I came pretty hard.
Can we talk about how i drunkenly changed the timezone on my phone last night and just showed up to work an hour early
I missed you last night. I'm sure he will never forget the night i sang my heart will go on into his penis like a microphone
No. No. Fuck you! You can do your own grocery shopping.
Randomize
