I think east. Tornado watch. What the fuck are you doing in Texarkana?
Bonnaroo. Tornado watch? Expand on that thought.
Watch for tornadoes.
he took his pants off right in front of me then just stood there so i went for his boxers and he said he was waiting till marriage
Is it creepy to message a girl and say you had me at stocked liquor cabinet?
Oh it's happening. I'm Chugging a beer while sitting next to a 6 year old
just an fyi, false alarm on the whole ghonnorea thing. you're safe.
Hey since its national brother week is that eiffel tower option with your girlfriend still on the table?
Sincerely would love to tap that, on a mountain with the wind blowing on your pubes .
I had a great time except for the part where you called another guy, told him you were in a cab - not on a date - and that you'd meet him at a bar in 15 minutes. but besides that it was awesome. Next time capping you at two glasses of wine
It was over as soon as he asked if he could name my vagina pancake.
Master Skywalker, there are too many of them. What am I going to do?
Hit on the one in the red shorts. The thirst is strong with this one.
I just remembered that last night I seriously contemplated swallowing the cap to my toothpaste
I'm like 89% sure I could get him to buy me a car in exchange for a half-assed handy.
My liver is preforming stress tests.
I thought I came here to hook up, not for a Study Abroad 101 session
i don't care if you are my best friend. does not give you the right to describe how well my sister gives blowjobs.
how about your cousin?
Randomize
