I would rather wake up to a truck driver than wake up to her
theyre just this beautiful family of functioning alcoholics. i want them to adopt me.
I don't know what your problem is but seriously you're a cunt for throwing up that song on your page. It's rude as fuck
omg its myspace i didnt think anyone took that seriously anymore
Every time a song comes on I get sad if glee has not a cover of it
I seriously might throw up right now. In class. Sunglasses on. I'm getting too old for this.
I have officially made out with every girl you've made out with, even the random you met on the Mexico flight
So roofie roulette was a success but I'm a little worried that the 2 who got the tainted beer still haven't contacted anyone...
I had to have my mom pick me up from the party and the windows lock was on so when I went to projectile vomit out the window it wouldn't roll down and it splashed back at my face.
Hypothetically going to the gym on coke was a good idea
I ended up naked with smirnoff caps on my nipples. Dignity is now a completely foreign concept to me.
so much tequila, so little girl.
After sex he brought chocolates and said he loves RuPaul's Drag Race. How many points does he score for that?
My "lord keep me from stabbing a bitch" prayer has gotten a lot of miles today
Well I'm half drunk in a green tutu at a chipotle. So pretty good parade.
My house is about to be spotless and the only person visiting is the plumber and not the porno kind.
Randomize
