Who said anything about talking that was a booty call
You feel like going out tonight?
Does a 14yr-old girl look good beat up? I'll bring the handle
And. No one ejaculated on anyones face. This is all wrong
I told the bartender that he could give me back the tip I gave him if he outsmarted me in a battle of wits. He has yet to challenge me.
do you know how hard it is to walk a mile drunk on 151 it's hard yards are soft and every girl looks good
The weekend is off to a good start: she just got into a verbal fight with a hobo. Nearly a fist fight.
soon, soon....
I don't believe you anymore. You're like the boy who cried coitus.....
I distinctly remember holding up a piece of ham pizza and screaming: "WHO THE FUCK EATS HAM PIZZA" in the face of a bunch of scared 13 year old girls faces, while my own sister laughed in mine.
I don't know his last name, but he's in phone as Pat the conqueror.
Sobered up midsex and just went with it. After he tried cuddling and I awkwardly rolled out of the bed to find someone on the floor, apparently it was his room so he got to listen.
I know how vodka works Grace. I'm drunk, not stupid.
So is it weird that I am super excited for my new captain america clit ring... Or is my crotch getting too patriotic
Woke up with a $100 bill from the Philippines in my bra & an unopened box of sour patch kids next to me. I have some questions.
We are totally like Jim and Pam, except ya know, drunk and not together anymore.
Can you recommend a quality dick? I haven’t had a good sexing in a while
Randomize
