I definitely ripped a mole off of her back in the process
she reminds me of the kind of girl who'd fuck in church if you asked. I can dig it.
I seriously just washed my dick in a public restroom. That's how dirty last night got
Just picked them up. It took 6 holes and a handle of rum to evolve from golf to a demolition derby.
There's an entire pit crew of cart boys surveying the golf cart destruction.
I think I broke a hole in her wall trying to do backflips
Oh thank the gods of upholstery, i thought that was never coming out...
Zombie crawl summary: 5 of 6 friends successfully laid. friend 6 too drunk to care and making out with a whale (not a costume)
This is where you say "Why yes we will drink with reckless abandon and hopefully not be in a church parking lot again."
Finding that toy duck there was weird right?
He said he was walking down to the White Castle for sliders, still drinking straight from a 750. He came back two hours later pushing a grocery cart that had two puppies in it.
The puppies promptly had the squirts all over the living room, as he had fed them the sliders.
It's like your tits told gravity 'fuck you, I'm fine right here!'
Definitely got a blow job in Charles Schwab's bed last night.
I love my job.
It's like everything I need in life within a five block radius: booze, toilets, dogs, dicks.
You like pics of my balls that much?
I am at the store looking at frames as we text...
all I know is that I was naked, and there were cheeto puffs everywhere...
Sorry about kicking you last night but you don’t mess with a girls margarita bucket. Ever
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