New invention idea: vibrating tampons
This guy just showed us his webbed feet to prove that his son was actually his son
You don't have to believe me. My vagina knows it happened.
he needs to hurry and make his mind up... i mean i can't keep getting peed on by a guy who isn't even my boyfriend
I'm trying to make a sex playlist
record yourself crying and put it on a loop.
The sorority chicks were the Persian army, and we were their 300 Spartans. Can barely stand up now...such a good ratio
do you remember the random banging on my door at 3 am wearing 2 budlight cases as a dress
And now for everyone's least favorite sport... Drunk babysitting.
I've found a new low. I was climb-on-the-bar-piano drunk.
I need a present that says please like me even though i'm banging your grandson
I need to find parents that want to take care of a grown adult. I'm sure there's a website out there for that. Like a sugar daddy but sugar parents.
I might stash a bottle of vodka in your mailbox, that way if I wanna leave early I can drink in your frontyard till you get back.
At least they play good movies in the waiting room of the pregnancy resource center.
I'm about to play another round of who's panties are in my car.
I mean that was the nicest way to be dumped by some one I wasn't dating.
Randomize
