did you get my message about your dog?
no... is he ok?
no, i didn't see him when i was being chased out of your house. check your drive way :( sry
And my fence, why is part of it on the roof?
He moved away. I mourned his dick all of Sunday. I feel a little better now.
i forgot beer had calories. that would explain alot.
The worst part was I wasn't conscious enough to move out of the way, I knew i was being puked on but I couldn't move.
everyone thought he was too sick to make it, but he showed up. Ten minutes in and he's doing vodka shots with nyquil chasers
trading diseases for a hangover? that's either a really good decision or a really, really bad one. we'll find out if he wakes up tomorrow
No night ever ends well that starts with "you know what this needs? More tequila".
This storm betta not fuck with taco tuesday
Your vase full of piss was still at his house and he still doesn't know.
I never want to do this again, I'm going to chew off several fingers and apply for disability
I've learned life lessons in Vegas. Mostly, drugs are cheaper than alcohol.
I think I ejaculated my soul out.
Elliott peed on my floor and slept in it lol that's a one line description.
We could probably bang our way to enlightenment. However acid helps.
I can't believe I slept with a girl who has the words shucks in her vocabulary. I'm getting less picky by the day..
Randomize
