i'm touring the leper colony via mapquest street view so we dont have to go there
Wow my backseat really seemed a lot bigger when we were 16
I'm praying to Jesus, Allah, Buddah,and the whole gang tonight that I'm not pregnant
if by 'bottleservice' you mean 'bringing beers in my purse' then yes, we are.
slut bingo starts in ten minutes ...
isn't that the guy who always buys you drinks?
yeah. i love a man who still buys me drinks after the bar cuts me off.
next time on intervention
Had to go to the urgent for a physical and I gave them my fake. Nurse was a sport though
You should hear the lecture my mom just gave me about cooking pizzas when im drunk because "I could have died".
You were asking her how her mother would feel if y'all dated, etc. And I was yelling at you your girlfriends name over and over again in between gags and sobs.
So it's safe to say that it's all down hill from here
Do you mean easy livin or downward spiral of alcoholism and disappointment
Today, my weed came in a pokéball. I officially love my dealer.
He literally just made me hold his dick while he peed cause he wanted to know if I could aim as good as him
We did hand stuff while watching teenage mutant ninja turtles so I guess you could say it's getting serious
All I want is a hot dog on a Saturday at 2:19 is that to much to ask?!
I don't know how to explain to you that you tried to recreate the bit from the Dana Carvey show where a guy dressed as Bill Clinton breastfeeds a bunch of puppies
Randomize
