You litterally reached into some girls shirt, pulled out her tit and yelled whats up with this guy.
I'm done trying to be a vegetarian. My vagina smells like hummus.
I havnt been this mad since the coche de Los murtos incident
Is there anything medically wrong with drinking beer from a vagina?
How did the beer even get there in the first place?
That's not what's important right now
I don't understand why everytime I fuck his bestfriend he seems more interested in me...
You filled up my voicemail with a slurred but graphic depiction of how you were humping a fire hydrant.
I bought a 9 dollar purse from payless so if I throw up in it tomorrow, no biggie.
TO ALL WHO WERE IN MY HOUSE LAST NIGHT: WHOEVER STOLE MY BONG AND PUT IT ON THE ROOF WILL BE PAYING MY HOSPITAL BILL FROM LAST NIGHT.. AND BUYING ME A NEW, SWEETER BONG.
They knew I had a party because the refrigerator settings were different, but they don't notice that we installed a new toilet seat so it's okay.
And. I know i am a gay man cause when i saw the pic of his cock his feet were in it and i am like what the fuck?
I woke up with a stapler in my ass. Don't even complain to me.
His favorite stripper is going to jail. He's taking it pretty hard
I feel I should send an apology letter to my anesthesiologist.
I’m glad they have a happy marriage but why do they have to inflict it on the rest of us?
I'm basically doing the Walk of Shame without the added bonus of having sex last night. That doesn't look good on anyone.
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