I almost took home a boy from the bar last night, till i realized he was not speaking drunk, he was from another country and didnt know english. that could have been an awkward morning.
dollar beers will do that to you.
You litterally reached into some girls shirt, pulled out her tit and yelled whats up with this guy.
I had to puke in a pizza box on the drive home. People saw.
woke up with food on the counter from chipotle, taco bell, green cactus, and on the border take out. explain?
you were trying to get this Spanish chick to sleep with you. you were showing her how much you "loved her native food."
THEY ARE MY AGE. THEY ARE YOUR LITTLE SISTER'S AGE THIS IS A DELICATE MATTER. CAPS LOCK
Too high to move please buy hi-c and pour it in my mouth in exchange I will marry your first born child
It's home.......I'm going to the store in disguise to get skittles and cake frosting. Then I'll eat the frosting in a dark corner while I cry and wonder what I did to deserve this.
Yo I found your batman costume.... It was in my pool with a shitload of beer cans
and then we all passionately sang "what if god was one of us" until everyone passed out in the grass
You get home ok?
Uh, you stopped by my house at 4 am and woke me up, so yeah.
Just switched my underwear without taking my pants off don't ever be ashamed to be related to me
MEAN GIRLS IS ON NETFLIX! I REPEAT, MEAN GIRLS IS ON NETFLIX! THIS IS NOT A DRILL! I LITERALLY NOW HAVE TO CANCEL ALL OF MY WEEKEND PLANS.
Only you can make me eat tacos in your car, while naked, on a dead end road in a ditch on a Thursday night.
I only wore my thong with cheeseburgers on it because I thought we'd have sex. So I basically wasted my best thong for nothing.
For someone who claims to be straight, she knows a hell of a lot about bi erasure, and one Hayley Kiyoko song too many
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