You should've come with us, we're at Home Depot looking for men.
you could play connect the dots with the people ive fucked in this room
It's a line of coke at 10 a.m. kind of Saturday. Don't be a pussy about life.
besides im still about 80% sure that im eskimo brothers with jerry springer
I could be wrong, but im pretty sure i jumped off the roof after my lighter.
We didn't need to cut her off. I'm pretty sure the lit candle she almost drank would have done it for us
Petting the cat and listening to "you've got a friend". This is why I smoke weed. To make sense of situations like this.
I have jerked off in every room in your house. *the more you know
He's only a freshman and he needs to expirence shit like that..
YOU would be the Freshman Expirence
Just re-gained consciousness in the freshman girls dorm. Normally this would be awesome but I'm on the floor surrounded by chicks doing their homework. This makes me uncomfortable but I don't think they know I'm awake yet. If I b-line for the door can you come get me?
Can you check on Mike in the bathroom. It's been like 20 min.
He's fine. He's just standing at the trash can in line for another beer from the keg. Nbd.
You're just gonna have to make the sacrifice man.
I'm trying to hide in the table.
Trying to roll joints on a seadoo in the middle of a lake on a windy night. -Juststonerthings
Its was awkward last year cuz in the middle of it her mom bust In the room with noise makers and champagne
His mom came while we were asleep naked and started asking me about my plans after high school... Is that even a thing.
Randomize
