Skipping work because i'm still too drunk from last night still. got home at midnight and passed out in front of my door for 2 hours bc i couldn't find my key
had to call my rooommate to let us in. Passed out in my dress and found the key on my hair tie-in my hair- just now.
4 words: hood of his car
just got my goo swallowed for the first time. colors seem so much more vivid now, and more rainbows are outside
third eye blind makes so much more sense now that i have a drug problem
You can't use the, "think about your future" line when trying to convince me to save some weed for tomorrow.
from the looks of the bare footprints in the snow it looks like i was dancing in circles which explains the frozen puke
just used my nephews bottle to take my birth control
I wasn't trying to be rude when I hurriedly walked past you, but I can not put in to words exactly how bad I had to shit.
The ideal thing to do next party is to tape my boobs down so they don't knock over the pong cups while playing defense. They came back to hurt us this time
Just picked up an ounce of keif and if it goes to waste before the world ends I'm gonna haunt the shit out of somebody when we all die.
Dude this weed smells so good they should make it into a Vicks vapor rub scent and I would rub it all over myself.
They're frat boys at heart and have sickly, dusty, rotting souls.
And now you understand the importance of Saturday naps.
Because you stay up all night having sex and eating sushi?
Just so you know, I woke up with 2 oven mits in my bed and no clothes on.
I’m calling dibs!
You can’t call dibs on dick. That’s free range dick. May the best vagina win!
Randomize
