Potential corruption. He's 19.
Get them while they're young!
you were so drunk you tried to use the microwave as a calculator for your BAC
She looks like an uncircumcised penis in a hat.
They had miseltoe over the keg.... thats cheating
Wow. 8.8 earthquake hit Chile this morning
didn't feel it. :)
It's like 5 thousand miles away of course you didn't.
wait what? so it's not in america?
i don't understand how she was down there for so long, she's like a mermaid, a blowjob giving mermaid.
Broke up w/ my married coworker...work is gonna get weird.
Heating the house with the oven may not be safe but at least it's always preheated
Missing part of a tooth cos I tried to open a beer with my teeth, just saw a dude that looked like bill Cosby though so things are looking up
I gave the naked guy in the hotel a pop tart. He stopped crying.
I just had the stunning realization that I lost my virginity in a bunk bed.
You were definitely drunk. You gave him an otphj in front of everyone.
And you were like wow I love water shots they taste so good
I know they deliver ice cream, but do you think I can ask the delivery guy to watch the rest of the movie with me too?
Things were going really well until his cousin showed up. She told him I look kind of like his mom, which started a ten-minute debate on my and his mother's specific features, and ultimately, who is prettier. Guess who my date picked.
Randomize
