i'm not sure what happened. i know i woke up on the floor of his bathroom, then had morning sex with him. dont remember getting to his apt. dont remember much.
morning sex?... maybe not a total mistake then? he seems like a normal person, so rare at BU
oh no, he's far from normal. i know his high school girlfriend. she's CRAZY. and he definitely deals prescription drugs. also. he had sex with me even though i slept on his bathroom floor.
the women in the ladies room did not appreciate my innovation of turning a sink into a urinal
I'm starving. my midnight snack, aka a teaspoon of cum, isn't holding me over
If you win this game of words with friends, ill suck you off for 30 minutes. No lie.
I cant last that long. Do i get the rollover minutes?
apparently i'm really good at getting wasted, having sex all night, getting multiple hickeys and oversleeping father's day brunch. this is the third year its happened.
I just past a guy who was biking and double fisting wit glass beer bottles. That is what i call talent
As payment for all the times you have babysat me while im drunk, im giving you the shorts i stole from the guy i stayed with on friday night. They're clean. Come get em.
Just used my boobs as a ramp to guide ramen into my mouth.
I gave him 3 xanax and recorded the ball drop. He's gonna think tonight is New Years.
I gave up yolo and cigarettes for lent. I owe god a sincere apology.
I'm going to die alone in my chair and get eaten by my cat. That kind of break up.
He tried to spell out "PROM?" in his cum on my stomach during sex. It was terrible
well did you say yes?
I don't wanna be gay for a night.
I think it would be worth it for free alcohol.
Should I wish him a happy birthday?
Well he has been inside of you enough times that you probably should.
Found someone cuddling with my Uggs this morning. Guess the hundred pillows laying next to him weren't good enough.
Randomize
