OMG. Drunk.
I'm so glad you fill me in on these things.
Sorry. Must've been trying to twitter.
I am really glad that on the inside of a card from your grandparents you have transcribed the rules for circle of death
any plan I had today of being a productive member of society, I am officially throwing out the window.
how do i tell her that i need alcohol to fuck her but at the same time i cant get a hard on with alcohol.
I'm too tired to go all the way tonight, especially if you're going to quote Katy Perry at me during
We were all drunk for the whole flight. Steve doesn't even remember the cab ride to the airport. At 6am. Says he "blacked back in" at security.
I knew my sign language would come in handy. I just used sign to coordinate a coke deal.
Listen I know you hate her for what she did but this is getting our of hand. Please please tell me where you hid her wedding dress.
Am I really that girl who walks around half naked wearing a cowboy hat begging for liquor at some random guys house
Ok. Here's the plan. Take your hand (whichever is closest), summon all your nerve, and just stick it right down his pants.
I love you.
Honestly it's a super power. I can try it a million different ways and nothing happens. Donnie casually says "ok this is now a toppless party" and it all kicks-off
Where does dick fit into Maslow's hierarchy of needs?
You sat on me. Like I was a toilet. While I was on the toilet. You peed a little.
He makes furniture for a living and is basically a hot, younger Ron Swanson
Just shaved my balls on a moving train. By far the most dangerous stunt I've ever pulled
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