i asked a few people if they wanted to make pancakes with me but no one would. thats why i'm drunk by myself right now
We need to start having sex underwater more often.
Well hello freshman 15, didn't see you there until I tried on last years summer clothes.
can we meet up so i can piece together the end of my night? for instance, did i jump or fall into a plant?
Of course I'm hard in the pics. If there's a chance that these pictures will cause a scandal later in my life I at least want my dick to look it's biggest
No i peed with you in the toilet. The guy I high fived was mid pee in front of the urinal
Notice: I will be intoxicated and in your area this evening. To unsubscribe from my sexual solicitation list, reply 'fuck off'.
My grandmother cheats at beer pong and has been rubbing her tainted victory in my face for an hour now.
The last thing I remember was doing a line in the shape of Texas
Dude you went around coming up behind people and whispering in their ears. I dont know what you said but they looked terrified when you left.
But I'll just tell people it was a bar fight... Sounds a lot better than "well I was drunk and alone and eating Special K naked in my bed"
And I'm determined to make an Eiffel Tower happen sometime. I just don't know who will take the pic (first world sex problem?)
Flacco has been sacked like 7 times. His name also auto corrects to Flaccid. That's so sad
I feel worse lying to the guy I hooked up with than I actually do for cheating on my bf
Lately I've been very attracted to Kevin Jonas because he's like...less hot than Joe, but he's this healthy mix of both Joe and Nick. It looks like he's finally growing into himself.
Randomize
