I want to see a picture of the girl worth ruining our relationship for
no, there's no challenge. I live a humble lifestyle out of virtue.
You wear Armani Exchange.
Dude.. I don’t care how hairy she is, you already left me at the bar, and now I have to find another fucking way home... NOW BE A MAN ABOUT IT!
I think I deserve the nobel peace prize for discovering that one should smoke before drinking instead of drinking before smoking.
Can you do me a favor and fuck someone with a car so I can get a ride home?
They can't keep moving my court date back, i dont know if I'll survive another one of these going away to jail parties.
His new job just became new places to have sex at.
this dude just showed up to the party with a falcon
I ran into my boss at the liquor store on our lunch hour we both just stood there awkwardly until i was like your car bar or mine hahaha we both need a cab
Correction... Drunk on winter break. There are no days of the week on break.
Please don't mistake my med student status for responsibility. I'm drinking tequila while studying vascular surgery techniques.
I guess that's what I get for clicking on a link that says clown penis.
One minute we were playing beer pong, and the next minute I was sprinting to my apartment with a watermelon. wtf happened in between?
The only thing i ask you for is vegan food and sex.
To be honest, I'm more surprised when you're not high at this point
Randomize